Saturday, July 3, 2010

Imprint on Me

My Darling Friends,

I saw the movie Eclipse today, for the second time, with Sarah and Rachael.  I loved these books.   Stephenie Meyer's overwhelming ability to suck me into her novels and leave me completely invested in each character was amazing!  I am an avid reader, but nothing in my life could've prepared me for the all consuming nature of these books.  While reading the stories I was totally and completely in love with Edward Cullen I mean, aside from my sister, who wasn't?!? He is intense, sexy, deep, adventurous.... but, upon closer examination controlling, old school, a little creepy, and let's face it really not so adventurous.   Jacob is a like a real guy, and I was graciously converted to a Jacob supporter after the rose colored buzz from the books wore off.  Tall, dark, and handsome, YES PLEASE!!!  Jacob says to Bella during Eclipse, "It would be as easy as breathing with me."  Wouldn't it be lovely if that were true in real life?  Wouldn't it be amazing if love were that easy, as easy as breathing--involuntary, wonderful, vital...  Yes.  

Rachael was "Team Jacob" all along, and explained to me that I do this in real life too... I pick the wrong guys and then take a step back and upon a less rosy examination realize too devastatingly late that it was all wrong.  Do I?  Do I allow myself to be vampired in my relationships?  I suppose I do, since I clearly have yet to have a successful one.  Or maybe it's that I want to be consumed, and end up losing myself in the process.  I think a part of me wants to be lost in the romance of it all, I want to be swept up off my feet--even if it breaks my legs.  I want to be kissed passionately in a complete and utter downpour.   But, perhaps all it really is... all it can be summed up to being is that I'm just a big dreamer.  Likely, the latter.  Nevertheless, I believe in love.  I believe in the kind of love Jacob has for Bella--the unconditional--REAL--kind of love... and I'm holding out for it.  I think my sister's wedding helped me see this too...her effervescent joy at marrying her husband was the most amazing thing I've ever witnessed in real life. I'd rather be alone for eternity, than with someone who does not make me incandescently, yes, make it as easy as breathing.  No games.

Love Always,

1 comment:

Maria said...

Amanda... this post left me breathless and teary at the same time!
Breathless with regard to your writing...
and teary as you mom reading your heart