a lot of hot air

Dearest friends,


The alarm goes off, the sky is midnight blue the sun waiting to kiss the horizon.  Your little bitty heart beats with anticipation.  After all, you had to get up this early.  


When I was younger my family used to go to the balloon festival about an hour north of my hometown.  I haven't been in years, but it used to be one of my favorite fall activities--and one of the most exciting "getting up early" mornings!  


Yesterday, I saw about twenty hot air balloons rise into the evening sky!  They were absolutely spectacular!!  The group of people I was with were pretty awesome too!  Being ever so dangerous sitting on the railing of the road we pointed, oooo'd and awwww'd, and laughed hysterically at the character balloons--my favorite was the tuxedo one!  This reminds me that with effort, and some hot air, our dreams take flight!




Love Always,

laura comes to visit

Dearest friends,


One of my favorite things ever to do is host!  I love it when people come to my house to visit.  And this weekend, I got to do just that!!

On Thursday, one of my best friends from high school, Laura, text messaged me asking what I was doing this weekend.  "Not too much," was my response.  I was thinking maybe I'd read or write for a bit and that's all I had planned so far.  She wanted to know if I wanted company from Saturday to Sunday!  YES!  


So, Saturday around 3:10 I got the call from Laura telling me she had arrived!!! YAY!!!  We had such a lovely visit!  I haven't seen her in so long, so it was a much needed "catch-up" time.  We went immediately to an early dinner at Double O Grill, which is an amazing restaurant in my area.  It's so delicious.  I always get the bbq ranch chicken salad!  I don't even look at the menu anymore.  When we came back, we chatted and chatted about boys (haha of course), relationships and her wedding planning, friends, and family, and our upcoming reunion visit at the end of August.  Then, we decided to play two rounds of the game of Life, one of my favorites, and watched the movie "License to Wed."  


Chino and Mr. Darcy had so much fun snuggling!  Laura said they must know she needed "dog cuddle time."


This morning, we went to the best bagel shop in town, where they make their own homemade bagels!  Then, she continued on her way to visit her family, and I took Chino and Darcy for a walk on the bridge and home for a nice (not for them) bath! 


What a great weekend!!!


Love Always,

the excess noises of a nice day

Dearest Friends,


I'd like to start by saying that the person who's apartment is up against my kitchen wall has been blaring video games since early this morning, apparently they have nothing better to do with this gorgeous day.  It makes it very difficult to peacefully post.  I can hear the surround sound of their games OVER my computer music.  So, I had to shut off my music because it was just too much noise.  It's giving me a headache!  


It's an absolutely beautiful day!!!  It boggles my mind how some people would rather spend it inside shooting at fake cartoon people on their television screen.  And the sound, oh, the sound!!! I can feel the vibrations of the base in my skull.  I absolutely cannot take it.  I have been super close to exiting my unit walking to the front of my building and knocking on these peoples door.  But, what good would that do? Except probably piss them off, and incite them to blare the noise louder.  It's soooooooooooo obnoxious.  


And now, someone is revving their motorcycle.  Seriously!?!?!?  WTF!!!

But, today, is a GREAT day because in almost exactly 1/2 an hour one of my best best best friends from high school is coming over!! I haven't see her in what seems like FOREVER!!!  She got engaged this past winter, and I have yet to see the ring.  I cannot wait to see her!  We are going to have a blast, I will post about our visit tomorrow!!  


Have a gorgeous day and try to tune out the excess noises!


Love Always,

five years later

Dearest Brandon,


I didn't think I would be able to bring myself to write this post; I thought it would be too difficult, but I'm figuring as it is almost the end of July it is either now or never.  I'm sorry it took me so long.  

I cannot believe it was five years on July 10th, five years since the glass of invincibility I had lived my life under came shattering down.  Five years since I was given the heartbreaking news that you had been in a fatal car accident.  


We had a tumultuous relationship, you and I--one that was obviously not meant to be--full of drama, sorrow, extreme bliss, but one that also collapsed friendships.  The friendship between you and my sister is one that haunts her because she never was able to make peace with you.  I know though that you hear her.  

...because I know you hear me.   You know I struggle with death, and after-life, and all that comes to be--and you know it frightens me, but you help me.  The night you died I felt your presence in my bedroom, it was so strong, your presence there.  I knew, if I opened my eyes I would see you, but I was too afraid.  I squeezed them shut, and waited for your presence to pass because I was scared.  I recall how obvious the difference was to me--you being there and then you being gone.  How I've wanted many times over to go back to that moment and get one last glimpse of your dazzling face, and mostly the chance to say goodbye.  Perhaps, that is why you try and try again to reach me in my dreams.

I remember telling you once that my grandmother scares me when she visits me in dreams because she just appears.  And I know she's not supposed to really be there because she is not alive.  Is that why you call me before you come into my dreams?  So that I wont be frightened?  Thank you!  I love when you visit.  It's been a long time!  Come back soon!  The first time you visited my dreams, you called me to "warn me" you were coming.  Then, sat down to tell me you were alive and well... this gives me hope that we are alive in death--as paradoxical as that may seem.  

I'm writing this because it has been five years, and I want you to know that I think of you still... often.  Sometimes I feel your presence in my car, or I pass by the smell of your cologne and my pheromones go crazy.  I try to be still at these moments, and ever so quiet--listening, if only I could hear you.  On the 4th I drove up rt 30A... a place I had not been in a long, long time.  The wreath I made you is the only marker still left, hanging from the tree almost camouflaged into it--all the color gone from the flowers, and our pictures and notes disintegrated.  I'm glad I took a picture of the notes, so the memories linger long after they have been carried off by the wind. I looked at the wreath, marveled that it was still there, and promised to make you a new one.  Then, I prayed, silently--allowing myself to be overcome with emotion at this place where you took your last natural breath in life.  I allowed myself to be overcome with the love so many people once and still feel for you.

Be at peace my dear Brandon.
I love you always,

manis, and pedis, and crazy ladies . . . oh my!

Dearest darling friends,

Cassandra text messaged me late this morning "you want to get manis/pedis?"  YES!!! I've been thinking about how deplorable the red toe polish looks for days.  We haven't gone to get pampered since before my birthday--before I started this blog.  I'm kind of tired of looking at red toe polish, I thought.  YES!!! LET'S GO!!!


We were both running late =) but got there at the perfect time.  It was packed, but we were seated right away.  Two or three minutes later a 57 year old woman with bleached blonde hair sat down in the only vacant pedicure chair left--the one next to Cassandra.  I was in the seat on Cassandra's other side.  She was visibly on her way to the gym, and was from some borough of the city.  She huffed as she collapsed into the cushy chairs, and turned to us.  "Men, they are all the same," she began... and proceeded not take a breath for the remainder of the time she was in her chair.  She complained bitterly about the lack of sex she was having with her current boyfriend, and went into disturbing, explicit detail of her intimate life with this man--whom I feel as though I know very well after listening to her.  


She just wanted to fix him.  Isn't that the terminal problem of most women.  We find these lost souls, these "bad boys", and want to aid in their discovery of the right way to live.  Why can't we realize that we are better than that, and deserve better than that?  Why do we stay in toxic relationships for too long? Why do we want to fix the world?  These were some of my thoughts in-between the thoughts that were of sheer embarrassment for this woman who was exposing her VERY personal life to two young strangers.  But, she was a character in life I will never forget... 


Another thought I had was how wrong television is in their portrayal of male and female sexuality.  How obviously wrong they are.


Cassandra and I left the nail salon a little more educated...lol... but, with a good laugh, and matching toe and finger nails.  =)  A little pampering goes a long way!!! 


Love Always,

a long island ice tea!

My dear friends,

Sometimes shopping is the perfect thing to do on a perfect day!


I went to the mall to have my eyebrows waxed yesterday. . . and decided to quickly stop into Macy's--see if I could find a cute dress for the Dominican Republic (where I will be going in October for Kim's wedding).  

I nearly literally bumped into my friend, Diana and her mom, who were also shopping.  We tried on so many dresses, and it was a BLAST!  Her mom found this amazing sexy black dress that I am proud to say that I purchased for a very on sale price, and will be bringing to the Caribbean!!!


We then, went to a bar at the mall and had a couple Long Island ice teas, talked, and laughed, laughed and talked for a few hours!  

When I left, I immediately ran up to Barnes & Noble to purchase Eat Pray Love.  I can't wait to start the journey to the center.


What a good life!!!


Love Always,