cloths, albums, and bing

Darling friends,

While I was home during the week my mom exercised her amazing sewing talent.  Ever since I was a little girl I remember my mother's sewing machine as a sound of comfort.  After she had put us kiddies to bed, she would sew bibs for her business--and I would fall asleep listening to the sound of her ambition.

 

 Mom bought a bunch of flour cloths (I think that's what they're called), and some really adorable cupcake fabric to sew a little applique.  I watched as she carefully ironed each piece of fabric, sewed it to the cloth, and delicately added pretty bows to the folded center of each.

Last night, I got the pictures I ordered from Rachael's wedding in the mail.  I purchased a 200 photo album a week or so ago for these photos.  Before beginning my day today, I organized the pictures and then put them into the album.  I actually ran out of space--I couldn't include the "after-party," but perhpas it is better that those pictures are left out 

Today, I am back visiting my cousin Sarah at her medical town =).  We always have so much fun.  This was a very spontaneous visit, in which I decided to leave upon receiving an early morning text message from her asking to visit.  Here I am!! We had a delicious fish dinner, prepared by Sarah.  This was her first time making fish by herself--I told her as long as we didn't die, I'm sure it would be delicious--and it was, and we're still here haha!  

Time to go walk to Friendly's for ice cream.  We have a big day planned tomorrow!  Stay tuned.

                              Love Always,

distant, but close at heart

Dear friends,

I traveled to my family the past few days mostly because my dad's cousin, Andrew was in town visiting all the way from England.  I don't ever remember meeting him before, so this was an extra special visit.  He also brought his wife, Debbie and their two children, Isabella and Max--who were absolutely the cutest things ever and their darling little English accents were so cute! 

Having distant relatives is bittersweet.  You of course, want then to be closer, but are fascinated by everything at the same time--the journey, the place they live, the currency, the government, the way the general public views American's, etc.  I loved getting to listen to all of these things.

Our get-together was at a lake, as it usually is with my family (on both sides).  I got to experience real tubing--it was a BLAST!  We went to fast!  I held on for dear life and braced myself--today, my entire body is sore.  Isabella went with me the first time, she kept wanting to go faster--the brave little soul.  Max went with me the second time, he enjoyed tubing in a more leisurely sense, which was exactly my pace too.  As we were bringing the boat to shore, Max looks over at me and says "did you have a fun time?"  With a gigantic smile on my face I answered "Yes, Oh my God, I had so much fun.  But, that first run was a little scary!"  He replies "I know!!  I could hear you screaming all the way from the front of the boat."  

Love Always,

cupcakes and sprinkles

Dearest friends,

I love being home.  I adore everything about it.  The smell of my parents house--inviting and welcoming.  The sight of the enormous crabapple trees symmetrically on each side of my parents house.... and the beautifully quaint village I pass through that welcomes me there.  My soul sighs I love this place as I take each bend in the road on my way there.


Yesterday, mom and I frosted cupcakes together in preparation for a dinner with my grandfather and Anne.  It was such fun girl time.  My mom makes the BEST homemade frosting, you can't help allowing each finger to take a turn sneaking a bit to lick out of the bowl =).  We took turns using her fancy icing swirl and shaking pink and orange sprinkles on top. 


Frosting cupcakes with my mom is a special treat that I cherish.  I love the close relationship we have, the stories we tell, the laughter, spreading icing on each other's faces.  It's such a joyful experience.  I also adore how excited, with child-like enthusiasm mom frosts these cupcakes--and especially the little white doily she creatively places the finished cupcake into.  What a lovely prelude to a wonderful evening with family...

Later, dad grilled shish kabobs.  We sat around and visited--catching up and relaxing.   I love being surrounded by family, like being wrapped up in the warmest blankets in the wintertime, or eating comfort food.  My family is one of my greatest blessings.


Love Always,

home is where the heart is

Darling friends,

I'm home visiting my parents today!  My grandfather is coming up for a family celebration. When I arrived home, mom and I started making dinner.  In the eggplant, I was cutting up for the shish kabobs, there were a bunch of heart shapes made from the seeds!  This made me joyful!

Have a fabulous day!!

Love Always,

who am I? I am That.

Dearest friends,

I've been questioning myself a lot lately.  I suppose the psychoanalysis classes I took in college don't help this situation much...or maybe they do.  I've kind of been on this roller coaster of emotions as of late, extreme bouts of happiness and then sadness and then hills of happiness again... and then oh look, plunge to sadness--where you want to throw your hands up in the air and say "woooo yeah, I am ready for this plunge," and then you end up chickening out.  But, oh,  once you hit that peak and your waaayyyy up there; the plunge is inevitable.  And the worst part--you see it. 

My mom seems to think that this is because happiness is fleeting--which it is--and that it is only when you have inner joy that you are truly "happy" all of the time.  Life isn't Disney World--of course.  And I mean, I know this.  She said sometimes it's as simple as telling yourself to be joyful.  But, I've tried like I'll get this burst of happiness and run out to go and get my Starbucks venti passion fruit iced tea, and I'm so happy, and then when it's gone I'm a little sad--not like someone died sad, but sad at the moment's end.  Or maybe disappointed is the better word?

So, I've been trying to discover who I am, which seems to be part of the key to "inner joy."  Who am I?  I have apparently no friggen clue.  I mean, I think I know, but then I start wondering if that's REALLY me or if that's society's influence on who I thought I should be... or is that really just a glimmer of my friends or my family, or whatever.  And I wonder if I'm so buried in this life that the REAL me will never "stand up."  Then, I start wondering if that's why I'm so attached to my name--my full name (first and last).  In my old relationship I explained that it would be difficult for me to change my name when I get married because it's me, and I'd probably go through this period of loss--and it made me panic a little inside.  Is this feeling because my name first, middle, last is the only thing I have to identify "me."  Because that's the ONLY thing I have concretely showing "this is me, this is who I am."  Maybe.  I don't know.  And then, when I'm thinking all these things I just want to tell my mind to shut up!  Like I don't care!  


My mom says I need to talk to God, apparently another key to "inner joy."  But, I really don't know how.  You would think talking to God would come naturally for me given the familial household in which I grew up.  Nope.  Aside from praying, usually selfishly, I really don't know what I'm doing.  So, I think tomorrow morning I'm going to meditate using a mantra.  Ham-sa.  Which in Sanskrit means "I am That."  Apparently, according to Liz  "Ham-sa is the most natural mantra, the one we are all given by God before birth.  It is the sound of our own breath....  As long as we live, every time we breathe in or out, we are repeating this mantra.  I am That.  I am with God.  I am an expression of God, I am not separate, I am not alone, I am not this limited illusion of an individual.  Meditate on whatever causes a revolution in your mind." 


Tomorrow, I go to war--with my mind.
Love Always, 

laura comes to visit

Dearest friends,


One of my favorite things ever to do is host!  I love it when people come to my house to visit.  And this weekend, I got to do just that!!

On Thursday, one of my best friends from high school, Laura, text messaged me asking what I was doing this weekend.  "Not too much," was my response.  I was thinking maybe I'd read or write for a bit and that's all I had planned so far.  She wanted to know if I wanted company from Saturday to Sunday!  YES!  


So, Saturday around 3:10 I got the call from Laura telling me she had arrived!!! YAY!!!  We had such a lovely visit!  I haven't seen her in so long, so it was a much needed "catch-up" time.  We went immediately to an early dinner at Double O Grill, which is an amazing restaurant in my area.  It's so delicious.  I always get the bbq ranch chicken salad!  I don't even look at the menu anymore.  When we came back, we chatted and chatted about boys (haha of course), relationships and her wedding planning, friends, and family, and our upcoming reunion visit at the end of August.  Then, we decided to play two rounds of the game of Life, one of my favorites, and watched the movie "License to Wed."  


Chino and Mr. Darcy had so much fun snuggling!  Laura said they must know she needed "dog cuddle time."


This morning, we went to the best bagel shop in town, where they make their own homemade bagels!  Then, she continued on her way to visit her family, and I took Chino and Darcy for a walk on the bridge and home for a nice (not for them) bath! 


What a great weekend!!!


Love Always,

the excess noises of a nice day

Dearest Friends,


I'd like to start by saying that the person who's apartment is up against my kitchen wall has been blaring video games since early this morning, apparently they have nothing better to do with this gorgeous day.  It makes it very difficult to peacefully post.  I can hear the surround sound of their games OVER my computer music.  So, I had to shut off my music because it was just too much noise.  It's giving me a headache!  


It's an absolutely beautiful day!!!  It boggles my mind how some people would rather spend it inside shooting at fake cartoon people on their television screen.  And the sound, oh, the sound!!! I can feel the vibrations of the base in my skull.  I absolutely cannot take it.  I have been super close to exiting my unit walking to the front of my building and knocking on these peoples door.  But, what good would that do? Except probably piss them off, and incite them to blare the noise louder.  It's soooooooooooo obnoxious.  


And now, someone is revving their motorcycle.  Seriously!?!?!?  WTF!!!

But, today, is a GREAT day because in almost exactly 1/2 an hour one of my best best best friends from high school is coming over!! I haven't see her in what seems like FOREVER!!!  She got engaged this past winter, and I have yet to see the ring.  I cannot wait to see her!  We are going to have a blast, I will post about our visit tomorrow!!  


Have a gorgeous day and try to tune out the excess noises!


Love Always,